Sara Davidson
|July, 25, 2024
My son was always out in front, walking quickly, often holding the hands of his two girls, five and seven, who were trotting along beside him. His wife, Fay, was a few steps behind as we made our way through five Italian cities. And I was 5 or 6 steps behind her, walking as fast as I could, tapping my way with hiking poles and watching the ground to make sure I wouldn’t trip on bumpy sidewalks.
It was the happiest, most delightful trip I’ve had in a long time: three weeks in Italy, from Milan to Florence, Siena, Naples, and back up to Rome. I was surprised and thrilled when my son and his wife had invited me to come on this trip.
I’d spent time in Italy twice before: when I was 19 and had a student internship at the Italian publishing company, Mondadori, and when I was 50 and rented a home near Siena for a month with my partner and my two young kids. The home had a pool and became our base for driving all over Tuscany.
My son, Andrew, remembering the trip with fondness, had spent a semester of college studying in Siena and had named his first daughter Siena. It had been life-changing for him, as Italy had been for me when I was 19.
Italy had introduced me to another culture: a romance language spoken with exuberant hand gestures, opera, wine, great food, and different customs, especially relating to dating and sex. I’d arrived a virgin, and left in the same state, but eager to change that as soon as I found the right guy.
I’d been indoctrinated by my mother to save my virginity for my husband. I thought every girl I knew did so. But on that trip, I learned that three of my close friends had been sleeping with their boyfriends, and no one regarded them as “cheap.”
I’d been holding back for nothing!
Now it’s 60 years later, and when I try to speak Italian, it comes out mostly Spanish. During the decades I was raising my kids, I had a nanny from El Salvador and we spoke Spanish every day. But when I try to retrieve my Italian, people look at me with puzzlement. Andrew urges me, “Mom, speak English, please, they get that.”
Andrew and Fay, who’s Chinese and had met my son while he was studying and working in China, did a great deal of research. So on our second day, in Florence, we took two buses to Il Gigante Adventure Park, which has long swinging ropes and adventurous contraptions for kids to play on. The girls immediately ran to spots that allowed them to climb and swing. They were given vests with cords so they could clip themselves onto wires and swoop through the trees.
.
They were in heaven, as were we, watching them and watching the Italian parents who had the same joy and protectiveness in their eyes.
The trip to Italy proved to be more challenging for me than either my son or I had anticipated. In the past few years, my short-term memory has become less reliable. I have good days and less-good days, and did not feel confident, after landing in Milan, to venture out by myself and remember how to get back to the Airbnb we were renting. I’d stopped driving several years before, and have been taking Uber and Lyft to easily get around anywhere in the U.S. But to my shock, there was no Uber in Italy. There was Uber in France and there’d been Uber in Ukraine when I’d visited there before Russia invaded the country, and I wondered, who was paying off whom to keep Uber out of Italy?
Taxis were not ubiquitous, so we walked and took buses. Fay and Andrew could quickly map out a route on their phones, but I could not. On our second day in Florence, after lunch, Andrew asked me to take his five-year-old, Emma, home on the bus. He told me which numbered bus to take and what street to get off at. I kept repeating the name of the street so I wouldn’t forget it. And when we boarded the bus, I asked the driver to tell me when we reached our street. After ten minutes, he stopped the bus, looked back and said, “Signora,” and pointed toward the door. I grabbed Emma’s hand and we scurried off. Then I looked around, with no idea where we were and where our building might be.
Emma said, “It’s this way,” and started scampering to the left. No, I said, standing stock still.
“It’s this way,” she said and dashed off to the right. I yelled for her to come back. I did not recognize anything. I called Fay on her cell; she was at our place, and told me to stay where I was.
“Mommy!” Emma yelled. Fay had come out on the balcony, right across the street.
It wasn’t until the next morning that I realized: I’d left the walking poles on the bus. I had to buy two Italian canes—shorter than I needed—but workable, at a nearby pharmacy.
One of the girls’ favorite activities was to straddle a pole as if it were a horse, trot around and race, imagining they were riding in the Palio, which takes place every year around the main square of Siena, while crowds are jammed inside the course, screaming and cheering the horses and riders dressed in period costumes.
The girls were lively and never complained when we made visits (short) to sites like the Accademia, to see the 17-foot-high statue of David by Michelangelo.
I’d told them before how it had taken the artist three years to cut and shape the enormous figure out of a giant block of white marble. They were more interested that, as with other statues, he was naked and they could see his larger-than-life genitals.
I’d remembered Italy as one of the greatest places in the world for food. But after a week of eating pasta twice a day in restaurants, which we ended up rating no higher than a B+, we started shopping at the nearby supermercato and eating in our place. Fay’s a terrific cook, and made vegetables and pasta with sauces from the supermercato that only slightly resembled anything available in the U.S. (Far more delicious.) The cheese section alone was inspiring: 20 or 30 varieties of mozzarella, with samples offered.
And the gelato! It became a high point of every day, and was nothing like the so-called gelato in this country. It explodes with flavor in the mouth, melting swiftly as it slides over the tongue. We liked to sample different flavors that we hadn’t heard of, but I always ended up with chocolate—ultra dark and wicked. There was a gelato shop across from our place in Rome, and at all hours we could see people—from toddlers to gray-beards—sitting outside in folding chairs, eating gelato.
We also discovered a liqueur, Meloncello, made of melon from the Amalfi coast, which even Fay, who doesn’t care for alcoholic drinks, loved so much she packed several bottles for me to carry home for her, along with tiny jars of Barilla Rosso pasta sauce. (a delicious version that’s sadly not available in the U.S.)
The next week, I would fly back to Colorado and she and the family would go on to China
NEXT BLOG: Pompei, and The Boys of San Marco.
Thanks for sharing the inevitable challenges of aging, as well as your indomitable spirit in pushing past them.
Thanks so much for your kind words. They mean a lot.
I too love all things Italian and being a woman of a certain age it makes some pleasures and adventures difficult, in my case walking not memory. I also share the Italiano/ Spanish language, mix up. Thanks so much for your Italian adventures with the family.
Thanks for your kind words. Viva Italia!
I am so happy to read about your trip to Italy! I’d been wondering how the trip was going. Sounds wonderful! Funny we never talked about living in Italy when we were were kids, did we? I lived in Florence for almost a year right out of high school. It was life changing for me too!
I love reading your emails. Thank you!
Thanks for your kind words. Have a great week.
This is just wonderful.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I love your writing. I’m friends with Rachel and in the same book club. You were at my house in May. It was so good to meet you. Take care!
Thanks,
Chris, for your kind words. I remember you and your lovely house on the lake. What book are you reading now?
Wonderful blog! You are blessed that your family invited you on this trip…building yet another great memory. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, life and travels. It’s enjoyed and appreciated!
Thanks for your kind words. I’m so grateful they brought me along.
I am scheduled to take a trip to Italy next year. Loved reading your post about this
Enjoy! I’m longing to go back, but it’s a haul to get there.
Just curious how old your son is. My older sister’s youngest son is about 38 years old and has two daughters 5 and 7 3/4 years old. I never had children, just mostly elementary students. Glad you’re traveling. I’ll be going to Calgary in Canada very soon and will see my younger sister’s daughter who will soon be 40. Her daughters are 2 and 4. All the best to you. I have some physical changes but can still walk without a cane.
Hi Linda, I love hearing from you. My son is 42. Enjoy the 2 and 4 year-old girls. That’s a precious age. Fondly, Sara
You have a beautiful family!
Thanks, I so appreciate them. Warm wishes to you.
Hi Sara! It’s Sam from EIEIOWA. I’m friends with Gary & Terry and had met you a couple of months back when you were visiting here. This was a fun story to read as I have long been curious about Italy and the rich history. I hope to make the trip there one day and may even google the country and try to select a town where I could spend a month or two. You have a great knack for writing and I enjoy reading your life-lived stories. Best. Sam
Sara, I feel for you, short memory loss and all. I had similar problems in Paris (I’m two years your junior). I love seeing the photos of your family, including adorable grands, but would have loved to see a photo of you included! Blessings for long life, Marlowe
Thanks for your kind words, Marlowe. Blessings back at you.
Don’t feel bad. Google (or Apple) maps don’t work well in Europe where there are so many small alleyways. Also, I miss the fresh mozzarella in Italy. Found out that U.S. cheesemakers cannot duplicate it because of our strict dairy laws.
Fabulouso!
Beautiful family…I especially love the last picture. So glad you went.
Thanks for sharing. this was wonderful to read and brought me back to Stanford in Italy, 1961
Glad you enjoyed it. Lucky you went to Stanford in Italy. 1961 was a different world.
What a beautiful family! What a delightful trip!! Thanks for sharing!
and thank you, Miles, for reading and responding. That encourages me to keep this blog up. Warmest, Sara
I love your stories! Your Journeys have such a solid grip on me – as I have had a few journeys that ring somewhat the same – as you wrote: THE BOYS of SAN MARCO !!!
Wonderful read Sarayou are an inspiration and have been since I met you at the JCC years ago to talk about your wonderful work with RABBI ZALMAN. Although almost 10 years ago I remember it vividly. So look forward to part two of your Italian adventure.
Sara, I understand. I’m almost seventy and while I’m still sharp, I think and learn more slowly. Its not just physical. I have to tell my younger friends to slow down when explaining technology to me. I used to pick it up very quickly. I guess my brain just doesn’t go as quickly as it used to, let alone my body! I so enjoy your occasional blogs as I have enjoyed your books from Loose Change on since I was in my teens.
Thanks, Jan, for your note. I’m experiencing everything you describe, and more. It’s of primary importance that we be kind to ourselves now, something I often fail to do! It’s a different stage of life. Hard to accept. Warm wishes to you
Thanks, Jan, for your lovely words about my blog. Sorry to be so late in responding. Yes, my brain has slowed considerably, but I’m grateful I can still write and read, if at a slower pace. Warm wishes to you
A lovely trip. I’m happy for you!