November, 30, 2021
William Ury is a grand master at resolving conflicts. Impossible conflicts. Ancient conflicts where the parties have been fighting for so long they believe it’s in their blood and can never be resolved. “And I’ve seen, with my own eyes,” Ury says, “how these kinds of conflicts can shift and transform. I know from experience, from being present, that it is possible.” That’s why, when people ask if he’s an optimist or a pessimist, he says, “I’m a possible-ist. I look for possibilities.”
Read MoreJuly, 27, 2021
I was reluctant, at first, when asked to be a guest on the podcast, Our Mothers Ourselves. Other guests had raved about their mothers’ inspiring qualities and unconditional love. My mother, Alice Davidson, however, was the quintessential Jewish mother—critical, dominant—who never seemed satisfied with what I did or who I was. She was complex: funny, high-spirited, and creative, and she was quick to become angry and hold a grudge. It was not until the end of her life that I was able to appreciate what I’d inherited from her: a love of story-telling, […]
Read MoreMarch, 13, 2021
I love Amazon. But it’s becoming a guilty love, an addiction. It began as a crush in 1995 when Amazon started selling books online. Then came the Kindle in 2007, and I found that I enjoyed reading books on it, although some of my peers refused to do so. I appreciated that you could order a free sample, read the beginning and then decide if you wanted to buy it. Ninety per cent of the time I did not.
Read MoreJanuary, 15, 2021
Years ago, when I was interviewed by a university professor for an oral history project on the Sixties, he asked, “Who had the greatest influence on your life when you were young—a teacher, book, family member?” Before you read further, please think: when you were in your teens or early twenties, who inspired you? A teacher, friend, musician or poet? Remember what comes up, and please enter it as a response after reading this blog. When I was asked that question, nobody came to mind. No one at all. Until the professor added, […]
Read MoreDecember, 2, 2020
He was 18, fit, trained, and pumped up to fight, when he landed at Tan Son Nhut Air Base in Vietnam in 1967. First thing he saw was a pile of 40 dead bodies in bags, stacked beside a chopper like a cord of wood. Moments later, he and the other recruits were fired on. “I’d never been shot at in my life,” the man recalled. “That’s when it hit home—it’s goddam war.” Fifty years later, gray, wrinkled, and overweight, he was returning to Vietnam on an Old Glory Honor Flight. The countryside […]
Read MoreSeptember, 8, 2020
In March, when the stay-at-home order came down with a thud, I found myself in a relationship that quickly became more intense and consuming than any I’d had for a decade. I’d recently met a man on a dating site who seemed “possible,” if not a perfect match. In other times, we might have had a few dates and found a reason to drift away. But this was dating in the time of Covid. It was as if we were the only two people on an island. We looked for common interests, shared […]
Read MoreJune, 9, 2020
“Do you have a tattoo?” the hair stylist, Jennifer, asked me. Was she crazy? She was 26, with blue eyes and dark hair falling in waves down her back. And she had a delicate tattoo starting at the nape of her neck and disappearing down the front of her black t-strap dress. I’d never been asked that before. My generation didn’t get tattoos, I said, although I’d known one woman and one man who did, and regretted it. I was not in Kansas anymore. I was in a balayage salon. I’d seen signs […]
Read MoreMarch, 10, 2020
Two days after the memorial service for Ram Dass in Maui, I drove with my sister and a friend down the bumpy road to the house where he’d lived for the past 12 years. We knocked on the door and a young man with a long dark ponytail opened it. He was one of the “super monkeys”—young people who’d volunteered to care for Ram Dass, who’d been partially paralyzed and confined to a wheelchair after a stroke in 1977. Ram Dass and his guru had revered the Hindu monkey God, Hanuman, said to […]
Read MoreJanuary, 20, 2020
I’ve known and been writing about Ram Dass, who died December 22, since the ‘70’s, when I read Be Here Now and decided: I have to meet this man. I was in my 20s, an agnostic, having success with my writing, and miserable. “Woe is me,” was my mantra, inherited from my Hungarian grandmother. My husband would counter: “Woe is NOT you.” It was a time when all around me, young people were lighting out for the spiritual territory, becoming vegetarians, learning to meditate and chant, and running to Chinatown to practice Tai […]
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